Without You
by Raspberrydoll
Summary: "Loved..." He says "You don't love me anymore?" A picture, a confrontation, and two hearts breaking.


The mall was crowded today, summer came and went and I entered into a new college semester completely unprepared. So I'm late on my back to school shopping. Which is why I'm here now. All my friends had prepared months in advanced and I kept putting it off. The truth is that I had spent the best summer of my life surrounded by people I love and had the best time of my life. Only downside is I really wish I hadn't accidentally broken my favorite silver chain. It was one of my most cherished gifts. Sigh, I'll have to get that fixed too.

I'm getting the last of my necessities when I spot Ochaco and Iida. Looks like Ochaco might've missed a couple things for school after all then. They see me and I make my way towards the bench they were sitting on.

"Hi guys! I thought you guys had done all your shopping months in advanced?" I say.

They both look off and nervous. The fact that they didn't greet me back gets me on high alert. Something is wrong.

"Is everything okay? You guys look a little tense." I say anxiety coursing through me already.

Iida and Ochaco exchange looks. Iida nods to Ochaco and she grabs my hands.

"I'm sorry that we had to come over here to break this to you. Your mom told us where you were and we knew you were going to be alone so we couldn't risk going to your dorm knowing that Bakugo might be there." She says.

"Okay, please just tell me what's going on. You guys are scaring me." My voice trembles at the last word. What is happening here?

Iida looks somber but hands his phone to Ochaco who then looks at me, eyes sad.

"I'm so sorry, Deku."

She hands me Iida's phone and my stomach drops. She's showing me a picture. A picture Iida took from a distance, you can tell it's a nightclub but the photo is as clear as day. It's a picture of Bakugo and he is not alone in this picture. He has his arms around a red head and is kissing him.

Immediately I give Iida his phone back and turn my head. I'm in a public place and my heart is breaking. I'm on the brink of tears. I keep my head turned away because I know they feel terrible having to unintentionally give me horrible news. I keep my head turned. I close my eyes trying to swallow the knot in my throat. I try to calm my breathing so that I can make it out of this mall without looking hysterical.

After a few minutes, I finally turn to look at them. Iida looks worried and Ochaco has tears in her eyes. We stay silent for a couple more minutes til Ochaco breaks the silence.

"Should we not have told you?" Ochaco asks.

I clear my throat trying to put words together.

"No. It's better that I knew. Iida when did you take that picture?" I ask.

Iida looks at Ochaco again looking unsure. I've never seen Iida look so unsure of himself.

"I went to a nightclub with my brother last night. At first I thought I wasn't sure if it was him but the closer I looked the more and more it started to look like him. I made sure he didn't see me. When I realized that it in fact was him, I took the picture without him knowing. I immediately called Ochaco and told her. I messaged her the picture and then we came up with a plan on how to approach you and tell you. You're my best friend, Midoriya. I'm sorry that you had to find out this way." He explained.

"We are here for you, Deku." Ochaco stated then noticed all my shopping bags. "Would you like us to help you load up your stuff in your car?"

I shook my head. "No, I'll be... okay... doing it myself. I have to go home and take care of this." I look at both of them and try to smile. It's hard. "I appreciate and love you both for letting me know. This isn't your doing. It's his. I'll see you guys later okay?" I stood, Ochaco and Iida both walked towards me engulfing me in a hug. I feel so numb. I'm in complete disbelief. After we break apart, I say goodbye to them. I can feel both their eyes on my back as I make my way out of the mall and towards my car.

—-

"We need to talk." I say over the phone. I called Kacchan as soon as I got back to my dorm. I can't describe this feeling but this is the worst feeling I've ever experienced.

"Are you okay? You sound weird." He says.

"I need you to stop by my dorm right now." I say with a little more force. "Meet me in ten minutes." I hang up the phone before he can say anything else. I'm pacing up and down my kitchen trying to calm down. I stop my pacing to take a deep breath and that's when I hear the knock on my door.

I open the door to let him in and right away he's on me.

"Whoa, what the fuck? You look like hell. What's wrong!?"

Fucking hypocrite.

He notices my eyes which I'm sure are rimmed with red from crying. I couldn't hold it in anymore on the drive home. The tears wrenched out of me and I was basically sobbing the entire drive here.

"Cut your fucking shit, Kacchan." I say. Immediately he tenses up and looks at me like he doesn't recognize the person standing in front of him. My words are aiming to hurt. He's going to hear what I have to say and then some.

"What's wrong?" He repeats himself.

I laugh a humorless laugh.

"What's wrong!? Really!?" I look at him in disbelief. I shake my head and reach for my phone. I pull up the picture Iida sent me from his phone and show it to him.

"THIS! This is what's wrong you fucking hypocrite!" I tried to yell but my voice breaking betrays me. I shove the phone onto his chest and he scrambles to grab the phone to not let it fall. "How the fuck could you do this?" Tears are streaming down my face and I don't bother whipping them away.

He realizes what the picture is and immediately closes his eyes and hangs his head in shame.

"I can explain." He implores.

"No." I shakes my head at him. "There is nothing for you to explain. I just wanted to let you know in person. We're over. We're done. You fucking broke my heart and that's it for you and me."

He tries to reach for me but I immediately take a step back.

"Deku, please!" There are tears in his eyes but I don't care. I'm hurt and I'm not going to stand here and pretend like I'm not falling apart. He's going to see exactly just how much he fucked up.

"Get out." I whisper. "There is nothing you can say right now that will make me feel better. I don't want your explanations. Just leave."

"Deku ple-"

"GET OUT!" I yell and his tears finally spill. He looks shocked and hurt. Well, welcome to the fucking club. I stand there as he clenches and unclenches his hands and finally makes his way towards the door. I hear the door click as he walks out of my dorm and I double over feeling my heart break once more.

—

*** 3 months later ***

The week after my break up with Kacchan was grueling. I didn't want to get out of bed. I honestly felt like I had lost a piece of my soul. He kept trying to call and text me. 52 missed calls and 63 text messages and not one of them was answered. I would've blocked him but I wanted him to know that I knew he was trying to reach out to me. My own tiny vengeance. This is nothing compared to what he did.

After realizing that I was not going to answer any calls and texts, the second week, he started showing up at my dorm. Thank the inventor of the peep hole. I always knew it was him though. He wouldn't leave and once he realized I wasn't going to answer my door, he started leaving me notes taped to my door. Every morning I walked out to go to my classes a new one was there. I always ripped them off the door, tore them up, and into the trash can they went. I'm not ready to even make the slightest eye contact let alone let him try to reach me someway somehow.

The weeks passed and little by little the calls and texts and door notes stopped.

Good.

The less he tried the more I could try to move on. The less pain I felt.

—

*** 7 months later ***

I was finally starting to feel better. I was focusing more and more on my classes. Started a new routine and it was going pretty well so far. Work was going great too. I started a morning shift and switched my classes to evening classes. The more distance I put between me and Kacchan the better. I needed a change of pace.

Tonight I had a three hour long lecture and I was exhausted. I just wanted to go home, order Chinese, then crash on the couch. My plans, however, came to screeching halt. I'm walking towards my dorm room when I see someone sitting outside by the door. The light I left on outside illuminates his blonde hair and I already know it's him.

I walk over to try to get into my dorm as fast as possible. I still don't want to talk to him. I have nothing to say.

When he sees me approaching, he stands up and tries to greet me.

"Hey, Deku."

"Go home, Kacchan." I say calmly.

"I need to talk to you."

I ignore him and I open the door. Once inside, I try to close the door on his face but he's quicker than me. He puts his hand out like he was expecting this reaction from me and stops the door from closing. I have my back to him because I can't bear to look at him. When he doesn't leave right away I know he's going to try to say what he needs to say whether I want to hear it or not.

"Look, I'm sorry. I really am. I need you to believe me. I never meant for that to happen. I know I betrayed and broke your trust but you have to hear me out. I was at home and something in me snapped. So I went out. I went out and I purposely kissed that guy. I needed to find out that what I was feeling for you was true. I was testing myself I don't know. I needed to make sure that you were the person I am meant to be with. I know it doesn't make sense but I just needed to know."

I slowly turn around to face him. When I look at him he has tears running down his face.

"Please." He begs.

Not being able to hold them back my tears break free.

"This is the difference between me and you. I already knew. I knew that I loved you. I knew that there was no one else for me. I knew that you were a part of me. I didn't need to go and kiss someone else to find that out. I knew because I felt it in my fucking being." I'm sobbing at this point but he needs to see. He needs to see that he wrecked me. He took my heart and ripped it out of my chest.

"Loved." He says in disbelief. "You don't love me anymore?"

"Just please." I hiccup. "I'm begging you for once. Just let me be. I can't stand this unbearable pain anymore."

I don't know what makes him finally do it. His arms hang at his sides and he looks defeated. He takes one last look at me and he leaves. I stand there with my wounds that I thought were healing opening back up again. I'm just hoping that this time around, he stays away.

—

*** One year later ***

The rest of the year passes by without anymore confrontations with Kacchan. I regained my focus and was able to graduate in May. I got a new job in my chosen profession and I couldn't be any happier. I'm in my cap and gown pacing up and down the outside of the auditorium from nervousness. The graduating ceremony is about to start in 10 minutes and I'm filled with anxiety. I don't know why. It just feels so final and I feel like I'm heading towards what is potentially the rest of my life. It's a big step.

"Congratulations." I hear someone say.

I turn to look to see who spoke and Kacchan is standing against the wall with his hands in his pockets.

"Thank you, Kacchan." I say. I genuinely mean it. If anyone knew how hard I worked these past four years it would be him. I slowly walk over to him and he pulls something out of his pocket. He hesitates but reaches out and grabs my hand palm up and I feel something heavy and cold. I gasp. It's the silver chain he gave me for my birthday. It had broken during our summer vacation and he had told me he was going to fix it for me. I had completely forgotten about it.

I look up at him with a small smile.

"I can't believe I forgot about it..." I say.

"Don't worry about it. You had other things on your mind." He says, sadness in his eyes. "I promised I would fix it and it's yours if you still want it."

I unhook the clasp and I put it back around my neck. I struggle a little and he offers to help. I tell him I got it and when I bring my hands back around I touch the silver medallion that sits directly over my chest.

Kacchan slowly reaches for my hand again and I let him. I'm not going to lie. As hard as this year was, I still missed him. I missed his arms around me. I missed him holding me after we spent the night together. I missed our late nights studying and our mario kart competitions.

He watches and caresses my hand with shaky fingers and I can tell he's nervous. He finally looks me in the eye and I can tell there's a question burning on his lips.

"Can I take you out for a post graduation coffee? It could be as friends if you want. I just feel like we left a lot of things up in the air." He asks, uncertainty clear on his face.

"Sure." I nod with a smile. "I would love that."

"What time can you meet me?"

"Right after."

"Your mom isn't making you a fancy dinner?"

"No." I chuckle "She, believe it or not, has a date."

He raises his eyebrows in surprise and a chuckle escapes his lips.

I've missed him.

"You could sit in the back and watch the graduation ceremony if you'd like." I say.

He's shocked to say the least but I give him a reassuring smile.

"Okay, yeah I would like that." He nods. "I'll meet you up front at the steps and from there we can go get coffee." He says.

"Sounds like a plan." He squeezes my hand and I squeeze it back.

"You promise?" Anxiety clearly on his face. I smile and nod.

"I'll see you in a little bit, Kacchan."

He lets go of my hand and with a smile makes his way towards where the other families are sitting and I sigh heavily and determined and I straighten my shoulders looking towards the future ahead.


End file.
